Super hamster...

Today I felt the need to become a super hamster. Spreading drunkenness to the world, well not the actual booze, I'm not big on sharing that. Unless you ask nicely then I might give you a pint. Maybe. So I needed to find a cape, wandering aorund the house I found a few things that might work, the bed spread and some rugs. But the dining room rug was the best the floral pattern just goes with my eyes don't you think? cue some eyebrow waggling action. 

The dolls stupid cat was in the way, plastic animals can be so annoying sometimes. I swear he keeps pinching my gin shifty cat, the dolls left him behind when they moved.
Anyway I yanked the rug up knocking a load of stuff over in the process and tied it round my neck. Obviously now I looked highly sophisticated and mildly terrifying to all the world evil forces like water and the like!
Then I wondered if I could fly so I climbed all the way to the top of the house to jump out of the window. Then I realized the windows didn't actually open so had to go downstairs again to go out side and find something else to jump off.
The human has some quite high draws next to my house so I climbed on them finding the open draws contained some draws which I tried on. The bras looked best on me I think. Can you imagine? Anyway I got to the top and went into a flying dive pose and willed gravity to stop existing and jumped.
I landed on the floor.
Turns out hamsters can't fly.
That is squirrels that can glide some one swaped pages in my 'rodents of the world' book. I now feel mangled and I can't get my head from inside this dvd its like some huge rolling collar.
So humans and other beings can someone come and spoon feed me larger?
who can say no to this face?

Pretty please?
I could use my teeth as an incentive if you'd like...

I'm going to go find some vasaline and a shoe horn to get my head out of this cd.

HAMSTER OUT!

Hamster house napper

Well hello, I've bought a house! Well when I say bought I mean I 'borrow' ok ok squat, I kicked the dolls out and moved in my self. Don't look like that! They had it coming. Kept saying "Do you want a drink little hamster?" Then throwing empty bottles at me.
Well I've really gone up in the world! I Have a pool table and everything! Not that I know how to play pool, I just like to stand under it  and pretend I'm a cat. It surprises people when they hear the table pur I'll tell you!
The picture below was when I decided to have an in depth conversation with the wall about the meaning of life the universe and everything.
Actually, I just asked where the nearest off license was that had no issue with supply rodents with drink. It didn't know. Said being an internal wall it didn't get out much. Shame really nice fellow must buy him a pint sometimes soon. Can walls drink? or do I need to mix it into some wall paper paste for him? I don't get along well with the dining room floor. It just won't stay still actually all the floors everywhere are the same, have they something against me?
Well I ought to go having a party tonight invited round some less discerning dolls, 25 ceramic monkeys and a rather confused stoat. By rather confused I mean he isn't a stoat. He's a duck. A female duck.
The booze won't drink its self you know! And maybe some laaaaaaaaaaady hamsters will turn up for me to waggle my eyebrows at. Going for a quick wash. In a pint glass. Toodlepip!*





*doesn't really work with me does it?

Cardboard cut out of handsome

Humans! And other creatures! Do you want your own handsome hamster like me? #waggleseyebrows you can now buy a handmade card board cut out of me! Complete with bottles on my stand! For £5 towards my drinking fund. Hic.

 Tempted? Look at my face! Now you are. I'm a do special offers for bulk buys of my handsomeness! 
Now you can email me  for more details or use facebook here Zaphod Junior Hamster
 or tweet @zaphodjrham

Hamster out!