Tuesday 3 January 2012

Hello and Pint?

They say I was born but I like to think I escaped in to amazingness. My mama was a beautiful lady hamster all fluffy with a taste for eating her own off spring. I'm told I have a look of my dad the original Zaphod but I think I'm better more refined the ultimate Zaphod you know well you've seen my face haven't you?
My sisters were as mental as my mama, it was hard being the only boy with all those girls who looked like they wanted to eat me like mama. The number of times I woke up wearing nail polish was traumatising. One time, after a family wedding, an uncle married an iguana he was a bit coookoo to say the least. My sisters elected me the main bridesmaid. They didn't tell me about this so when I woke up (it has been a heavy night I'd drank too much vimto) I was wearing a huge marangie style bridesmaid dress an they had permed my fur, next thing I knew mama had us all in the hamster ball and we were headed to the church I think she thought I was one of my sisters kept calling me Synthia which was odd been as non of my sisters are called Synthia. We got to the church (under the floor boards away from human eyes) and uncle Harry (the cookoo one) started wetting himself with laughter, he immediately recognised me with my pouting expression and lipstick on my ear. My sisters all looked nightly suspicious thankfully my uncle took me to get changed imagine the wedding photos! I'd never live them down!! I then started sleeping with one eye open. It didn't work. 7 to one isn't good odds.

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