Frank

well I decided to go on a brisk walk the other day (by brisk I mean I didn't stagger too much) just around to the kitchen but managed somehow to fall into the humans bag. So much junk in there, who needs to carry round a spoon and an apple unless they are entering some kind of race (I am a firm believer that all apples should be made into cider. I ferment any I am given.) Well she was off to uni for the day, she's studying some kind of art thing I don't understand or pay much attention to. Thankfully I had plenty to drink with me for this accidental stowaway!
The bag was put on the table I rolled out and did a quick star jump landing when I hear applause. I looked round this didn't make much sense! But then I saw a small hamster carrier which might have a laaaaady hamster in. But alas no, there was a small sign saying 7.5 (which I thought was a bit harsh). The occupant of this box looked to be a small custation, a crab! Did the crab think it was a hamster? I've met some confused rodents but this just takes the biscuit (or prawn).

The crab waved me over to his box, curiously I took a swig of whiskey and toddled up, when I hear this voice, quite a low voice say, "Hi, I'm Frank, from Edinburgh me. Stowed away in a bag but was found!" I first though he meant he was in FOUND but after another two swigs of whiskey I worked out it was more about his location less about band membership... I figured the guy needed some whiskey so i climbed onto the top of his box and poured a few shots into his water.
Next thing I know he is waving his claws in the air saying, "I want to dance my claws are moving." He carried on even after I informed him that there was no music playing... Turns out crabs have in shell home entertainment centres so he was not only listening to music but also watching James Bond... I think he was dancing to the film personally...
After a while and 3 bottles of whiskey I crawled back into the humans bag and peed in her pencil case (don't tell her she might get a bit het up let her believe it was magic...)
well I'm off now got to meet a cat and go out on the town well the village's spirits cuboards!.
Bye lifeforms.